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A Letter to My Grandson on His First Birthday

  My darling Baby D, Today is the twentieth anniversary of an event that changed the world forever.  This event that we call 9/11 is in your history books but it is a reality that I share with you. So much more has happened to this world since then. 2020 was the year of the pandemic - this time your reality more than mine. You actually got the dreaded covid bug. It has been a year and some of isolation, masks, vaccines and fear all around us.  Each new day makes our reality uncertain and changing all the time. And yet for me this is a day of hope. 9/11 of 2020 is what I will call it. I had prayed for over five years - sometimes fervently, sometimes desperately, sometimes, honestly not at all. I often got tired of waiting but my weak faith was not going to stop God’s plan.  A year has gone by and I have watched you grow from the tiny fragile little baby, to a  boy who cannot sit still. Oh what joy you bring to my heart. I love your welcome at the condo and your response when you hea
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A Letter to my Grandson on Christmas Day 2020

My darling Baby D,        It is Christmas morning and I am sitting by the fire, thinking of you. Today is a Christmas day like no other. It is the year 2020 and you will surely hear and read much about this year. Your history books will record this year. It the year that a pandemic swept across the whole world.      It is also the year you were born. It is the year God answered our prayers. We had prayed and waited for many years for you to come. God chose the time of your birth and decided how you would enter our home and our hearts.  He gave us you!         I cannot describe the emotions I had when I first saw you. You were curled up in your mama's arms. So very tender, soft, sweet, fragile, trusting, small, very small and oh so beautiful. We all fell in love with you on first sight - your  grandma, auntie and uncle. I have a funny picture of us all just staring at you as you lay on your mat. We passed you around, held you and loved you. Your Daddy and Mama could not stop smiling
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Oh, The Places We Went

There comes a time when you know it is time... A time to de-clutter. 18 years of stuff and 7 years since Julius has gone. Where does one start with an endeavor of this kind? I don’t think my heart and emotions are ready But there comes a time when you must do what you need to do. So I decided I will work my way up! Starting at the lowest shelf of the bookcase in the lowest part of the house seemed like a good idea. Armed with a few boxes, I descended to a place I don’t visit much these days. The basement - a place that once was a hub of activity. Crafts, games, friends, cable TV - all happened in this cheerful and brightly painted room. I looked around forlornly and before I could change my mind and run back up, I dug out the bottom of the bottom shelf. Memories came flooding back. Oh, the places we went! Maps, Brochures, CAA Travel Trip Tiks! Road trips, flights - all carefully planned. Oh the places we went The sights we saw The memories we made To remember so many years later today.
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The Parking Places for the Heart

It has been a restless kind of day. It actually started the night before. A decision to watch the Daily Wire before bed Numbers, reports, job losses, deaths, projections... Anti-isolation protests rising. My mind filled with questions... Is the collapse of the economy worse than the pandemic? Do governments have too much power? How did we get here? Just because someone ate a bat? Will my dental surgeon ever open again? I turned the lights out, My body fell asleep but my mind was in park mode. Parked in anxiety, fear, doubt. I did not need the alarm to wake me up. My mind was up and ready to go. From park to high gear. Checking my phone, Answering emails, making phone calls, Planning more zoom calls, And sending even more text messages. Towards the end of the day, came a text from a dear friend. Reminding me to go for a walk. "Walk very far" was her quote. And so I did. My mind unravelled and undone. My restless heart slowed
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Peace Like a River

         The sun was just peeking through the clouds when I decided I would go out for an early morning walk. The air was crisp and still quite cool. Since it was early enough that not too many people would be out, I decided to go to the ravine. The trail is narrow and does not lend itself to social distancing later in the day when more people are out walking.         This has been my safe space, familiar and calming. Memories of walks with Julius are a soothing companion. It is almost 7 years since he is gone. The landscape has changed some. The bulrushes are much taller, the wooden bridge re-built and the signposts worn and faded. A favourite tree uprooted and lying down after a storm brought it down some years ago.       The sights and sounds of Spring were everywhere. The green blades of grass are visible as they force their way up. The forest was up early and busy. In these days of isolation, the constant hum or roar of traffic has died down and bird calls were loud, so
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Today was a Hard Day

Today was a hard day. How much more Lord? Destruction is all around us. Destruction in a world that is broken, oh so broken. The reach of this evil has no limits or boundaries. What is tomorrow's news going to be? What am I going to wake up to? Can I escape the news if I don't listen to it? How long Oh Lord? How much more? Today was a hard day. It is Good Friday 2020 and our places of worship are closed. I struggled to stay tuned to any one live stream. Online church hopping that would not satisfy. And so I shut my laptop and opened my well worn and beloved bible. It was a hard day 2000 years ago. A day when the Son of God was put on trial, judged, mocked and hung on a tree. A day that had consequences of the kind nobody could've imagined. A day when the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom.  A day when a way was made for us to reach the Father through His Son Jesus Christ. It was felt good to linger at the cross. It wa
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Lord I am so Weary

Lord, I am so weary...           weary of being alone,               and yet hearing the constant noise of news and notifications                   of zoom meetings and Facebook live events                       of receiving and forwarding funny memes and not so funny videos           I am so weary               of seeing others being weary and not being able to fix it for them                 of long prayer requests                       and not knowing where to start and whom to pray for                  of trying to sound spiritual and strong                        and breaking down a hundred times in a day How long O Lord will this last?         How long will we be in isolation?            How long before I can see and hug my family?                When will you open the doors of our churches?                     What is normal going to look like?                       Lord, I am so spent today, I find myself turning to You and it feels good BECAUSE...      
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