A week short of 2 months and as I look back, it seems that my deepest fears have come true and I am living in them. Fear of loneliness, of pain, of constant aching grief, of a future without Julius, of managing finances (never having paid a bill in my life), of car accidents, of making decisions without the steady calm voice of reason beside me, now in a very small group of women (or so it seems)called widows who have walked this road...
Occasionally someone will say to me, 'You are a very strong person."
Let me explain - I am not strong. It is Who I am tethered to that is my Strength - My Lord Jesus Christ.
God gave me a beautiful visual lesson in my own garden that I hope will encourage you as you read.
In the winter of 2012, we had an ice storm and I remember waking up and seeing our beautiful tall cedars completely bent to the ground with the weight of the ice. Julius looked for a gospel illustration as he always did with everything it seemed, and said that that is a picture of us under the weight of sin till Christ rescues us.
My first thought on the other hand was not so spiritual. I thought "a good facebook post!" Here is a picture that I took on that day. In the corner there was only one tree that had not gone down. Julius and I went out in knee deep snow - he was willing to do this for me, because he knew how much I loved my garden, and we tried to shake the ice off. It brought them up a little bit but every time we had snow or even rain in the spring they bent down again. I called my landscaper and he said that he would definitely have to trim them down - they were too tall to get back up and had been damaged.
Almost agreed to it and then dear friends came by and said that they had an idea to get them back up. I have to agree that I was sceptical. They looked at the one cedar that had stood tall because it was strong and they tethered the rest of them to it. Lo and behold!! they stood up immediately. Here is what they look like today.
We have had some pretty strong winds and heavy rain this spring but my cedars are standing tall. They are firmly secured to the strong one.
Dear reader, are you being blown with the winds of adversity and trials? Have you no answer to your questions? A loss, financial ruin, a marriage or relationship gone horribly wrong? your kids and family walked away from God, a medical report that sounds ominous? laid off from work, unable to find a job? burnt out in ministry? Does it feel that the storm is unrelenting and that you are unable to get back up on your feet? You have no strength left to carry on.
The writer of the book of Hebrews has a beautiful verse that tells what we have in Christ: "Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure". Heb 6:17-19
An 'anchor for the soul' that is what we need. Loved one the writer tells us that we need to take hold of these promises. All of Our Heavenly Father's promises are fulfilled in Our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the anchor of the soul. Hold fast to Him and only then will you be able to withstand the storms of your life.
As I go through this storm, I can only wake up and function and move on because I am holding on to the living person of Jesus Christ, who walked this road before me. I am clinging to the promises of God and refusing to let go. He is my strength, my Cup and my Portion and to Him be the praise and glory forever.
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