The dark days of winter that I was dreading have arrived. It is dark outside and dark inside my soul. The pain does not seem to lessen - in fact as reality hits, it gets harder. I long for his touch, the sound of his voice, his caring smile - the one that got my heart racing the very first time we met. In some ways the road is lonelier now than when it first happened. Spurgeon describes it well, "There are seas of suffering that the sufferer must navigate alone. No other sail is in sight. Scan the horizon and nothing is seen but wave after wave." "Even though I walk through the darkest valley..." Psalm 23. the Psalmist talks of walking, not running. It is a slow and painful walk for sure. You lose your balance - some days you lose it and it seems like you will never make it. My heart broke when one of my girls looked at me and with pain in her eyes said, "What is going to become of us mama? Are we going to make it?" Honestly I don't think we can ma