A Well Watered Garden

Rummaging through stuff this week Deepika found a poem that she had written 4 years ago. Was God preparing her for this day? I believe that He invested so much and prepared us in ways that we were never aware of. THE QUEST As she stood there alone on the beach Was there something God wanted to teach? She thought she had done everything right And yet there was this pain she had to fight What will I do without you? When the emotions of love are so few The world will continue to turn As the fires of destruction burn Love is to hear not to fear Love isn't to say nor just a feeling of happiness and gay What will I do without you? As I sit alone in an empty room My life is incomplete Lost without no one to guide my feet While noticing the tears in my eyes He said that not one of his promises were lies What will I do without you? While I don't even have a clue On how to live a life that is true to you Then you turned and said to me "You will never

Often times in the past my prayer request has been that I would keep my eyes on Jesus alone. I think God has answered this request now. I am not sure I knew what I was asking. Was it just a nice and appropriate sounding request? Suddenly I am faced with a God I don't quite know. I have so many questions and with Steven Curtis Chapman I find myself asking " Who are You God For You are turning out to be So much different than I imagined." My life before May 7th was filled with His presence, His blessings and joy abounding. Our family was serving the Lord, our cup overflowed..."God is good" was my anthem. I now realise that I did not really understand what this means. God is good all the time, all the time God is good. How many times have I not said this with great conviction. God is sovereign is He not? He is unchangeable, He is the same today, tomorrow and forever. But wait something changed and now I am floundering on saying this with the same conviction th

Found myself in Psalm 90 this morning and God speaks to me again through the verses that I believe He allowed Julius to underline for me now. There are no comments beside these verses and I wonder "what were you thinking Julius?" Perhaps God was speaking to you about the brevity of your life here on earth. I know you were ready to meet your Creator, because we talked about it a lot. For you, a thousand years are as a passing day,      as brief as a few night hours. 5  You sweep people away like dreams that disappear.      They are like grass that springs up in the morning. 6  In the morning it blooms and flourishes,      but by evening it is dry and withered. Seventy years are given to us!      Some even live to eighty. But even the best years are filled with pain and trouble;      soon they disappear, and we fly away. Teach us to realize the brevity of life,      so that we may grow in wisdom. Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love,      so we may sing for joy

Today is Deepika's grad ceremony. Another first without Julius. He was so excited - had already taken a vacation day for the occasion. We were going to celebrate. His joy was so childlike and infectious. So "proud" of his girls and what God had done in their lives. I am pondering on our journey that started many years ago watching God work in our little Dipsy's life. A scrawny little baby girl whom Julius and I brought home. We watched as God took a physically weak child and moulded her to be who she is today. He took her from strength to strength and did the impossible -according to Dr's predictions almost not born because of a bad  pregnancy, healing from serious illness, lost on a lake in Columbia just 2 years ago...and most of all He brought her to a saving faith in Jesus. We marvelled at what God did that we never could accomplish. Four years ago we went to Mac for an open house and knew that this was where God was leading her to- The Math and Stats progra

Praying this ancient and most beloved psalm today. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. Dear Heavenly Father: I praise You for Son Jesus, my Good Shepherd. I praise you that You are my Provider - Jehovah Jireh 2       He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. You give me rest, You are my resting place. 3       He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness      for his name's sake. You are my Healer - Jehovah Rapha. As I mourn, you heal my broken heart. You enable me to make the right choices - to turn to you. You call me and I am so grateful that You never let go of me. 4  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,      I will fear no evil, for you are with me;      your rod and your staff,      they comfort me. And Lord I thank you that the greatest comfort that I have is of the assurance of life in You. I thank you that I do not need to fear death because You sent your Son to overcome it. He is the Way

Have I said this before? Waking up in the morning is very painful - I open my eyes and remember Julius is not here and never will be. I think of the morning coffee he bought to my bedside for 26 years and his gentle teasing me out of bed. Even if I was awake, I would childishly wait for him to come up and he did, without fail. But now I have a need and it is not childish. It is vital - I need to grab my bible and sit at the Lord's feet and hear His voice or I will not be able to do function. I love the story of the women at the well in John 4. Jesus was sitting beside the well - how sweet for the woman to just find him there. And yes when I wake up and get down to my quiet space, He is always waiting for me. It is with a sense of excitement and wonder that I approach Him and ask what are you saying to me today Lord? Today's lesson was from 1 Kings 19. Elijah was hiding in a cave and I love how the Lord asks " What are you doing here Elijah?" It makes me smil

Yes I do hate roller coasters. I don't like the feeling that I am not in control, I don't know the speed it travels at, don't know how high it is going to take me, and most of all I hate the downward descent. I intensely dislike the feeling in my tummy as it comes downwards and I don't know how low it is going to hit before it goes back up again. These days it seems I am on a roller coaster of emotions, cliché I know, but can't find a better way of describing it. Up one moment and then crash. And yes the feeling is awful, and I have no control on the depth of the fall. No internal strength to go back up again - nothing inside of me. But I know the One who is in control. I look in His Word all I see is The Rock, A Path, the Way. Very firm, solid, immovable, unshakable, eternal, unchangeable - no roller coaster. Words from my Pastor come to mind - our emotions are a good caboose but a bad engine. So today I choose to believe God's Word and His promises, not m

I find myself descending into an abyss of despair and loneliness. I ache for Julius and find it hard to comprehend that he will never come home. His house slippers are still in the same spot, but they will never be worn again. I will never hear his voice responding to my constant chatter, he never tired of hearing all the details of my day. I will never again have such a wonderful prayer partner who woke up even at 2 am if I needed prayer. Always caring, always watching out for us girls. Car oil changes, fill my tank, wash my car, bake bread, play romantic love songs on the piano, play board games with the girls, hang out on the couch, watch Sherlock Holmes with me, pack my lunch, make breakfast on weekends and on and on... Will this ache ever go away? I have constant flash backs of holidays and trips and we did many of these. Drives down country roads, walks in the ravine, favourite getaway at Niagara Falls... I have to admit I struggle to see the love of God in this "dreadful