A Well Watered Garden

There is a place where the wounded soul goes to hide, a place that cannot be reached by human caring, though it nods at the effort. It's a dark, retractable place, without windows and doors; a place where the soul would be more alone than it has ever known unless Someone- Someone able to walk through walls-was not already there waiting. - Susan L. Lenzkes What a powerful thought - the God of Creation waiting for me. I know that He never does leave us but my quiet time has been transformed to a time of sweet fellowship. A time of refreshing and renewal. He does not need to speak - just being in His presence is glorious.

God is amazing!! How many times I have said this and yet He keeps amazing me! OK this past Sunday I heard  a sermon on Psalm 119:73-80. I did not know how much I would need the message till this morning! I got a call from my ex-boss who "graciously" told me that I had been replaced in a week by a person with excellent credentials. Of course in Christ likeness I rejoiced. Isn't this what I had prayed for and knew that God would do? And I was after all the one who had walked away. BUT I AM HUMAN!! and my carnal weak self was hurt again. Replaced? In one week? He actually called to tell me?    And then God's Word through Pastor Paul's Sunday sermon came alive! Reality check again: My self worth was in my job, my reputation, my abilities, and like grass, all this withers! Awesome God! His Word tells me that I was made for eternity - a way bigger purpose and plan. My confidence has to come from: Knowing Who made me (“Before I formed you in th...

"I surrender all.." I have sung this song many times but never quite meant it. These days I am learning what surrender means.    You really don't know how tight your grip is till you are asked to let go! I thought I lived a surrendered life, not till I felt the call to leave my country, which meant leaving my parents,  my dearest friends, my apartment, my lifestyle, my heart it seemed then (1996). Letting go of my children as they left the nest for university. That was a hard one  for me! Later it was letting go of my ancestral home - so many childhood treasures piled into one big bonfire. Left only with a sense of loss and yet so many memories. Memories do not seem to dull pain do they? I question: why it is so hard to surrender? Perhaps it is a struggle with obedience, a very distrust of God and the fact that He has my future in control. And yet He tells me: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prospe...

So I am done - yesterday was my last day at work. It was a very sad day for me. Saying 'goodbye' is never easy, specially when you love the people you leave. We all promised to keep in touch. But let's face it, this does not always happen - life takes over and people move on. However it is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved. Very mushy, but that is me! In all of this God was speaking to me again. The talk show host on my favourite radio station was talking of finding God's will being a process and not a one time event. I know that as I seek Him daily He will reveal the next steps. So I will wait and trust because He is trustworthy.

"...as soon as the priests who carried the ark reached the Jordan and their feet touched the water’s edge, the water from upstream stopped flowing. It piled up in a heap a great distance away," Joshua 3:15-16  Revelation time: I realised after I wrote my last post that God has started parting the Jordan of my life for me. My daugher received her job contract yesterday. God was showing me that He is going to provide for my family what I gave up financially and some. The nursing home for my Dad called to say that they would get us a break on my Dad's fees. Awesome, faithful God! If you are reading this and you feel the call to take a step in faith into the unknown, go for it! Trust Him and He will be on the other side to hold you up.

OK so I have been moping and generally having a huge pity party! All this while God has been sending me reminders of His love. I just wasn't letting Him get close enough. Am I the only one who enjoys a good long cry? My mother would have said "I was marinating in self-pity!" Yesterday I decided to take a break and count my blessings. My family - the best ever. 3 caring introverts who put up with one demanding extrovert! I am so blessed!  Their faith in Jesus, support, and love for me gets me through daily. The Lord blessed my daughter with a job in her field! Hallelujah!! It is now that her degree starts to bring returns (for her!). God is so good, Yes all the time and His times are perfect.  I received letters from 2 of my prisoner penpals. This is always very exciting for me. I write to 4 prisoners and it takes about 4 of my letters to get one in return from them. They must keep them busy in there. It is a blessing to know that there are 4 individuals in ...

So I woke up early again. Again feeling very sad. Feeling the sorrow of having to say 'goodbye.' A season is over and it is almost time to hang up my hat.  How hard it is to obey My Lord. Again He spoke to me! Infinite patient God.  My reading for this morning is Psalm 84. Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage. 6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca,  they make it a place of springs;  the autumn rains also cover it with pools. [ d ] 7 They go from strength to strength,  till each appears before God in Zion My devotional had a beautiful 'garden" word picture. "When the shadows of night - needed night- gather over the garden of our souls, when leaves close up and flowers no longer reflect within their folded petals... we must remember that we will never be found wanting and that the comforting drops of heavenly dew fall only after the sun has set." As the earth needs the clouds ...

"And as soon as the priests who carry the ark of the LORD—the Lord of all the earth - set foot in the Jordan, its waters flowing downstream will be cut off and stand up in a heap.” What a sight that must have been. God asked for the priests to set foot in the Jordan before He parted the waters. Faith!! It would not happen if they had stayed on the river banks and strategised on how to cross the river. Faith  "'the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen". So God challenged me this past week... I had been praying and sensing for a long time, the need for direction from God. I decided that the answer would come by way of an open door (another job). But God challenged me to step out in faith. I wrote my letter of resignation and decided not to give it in for a few days more hoping that God would say "do not give it in." I kept thinking of the job and team that I love and kept asking God 'why?' I kept forgetting all the times I...

It has been a couple of years now that I have decided that I want to start a blog. This week I finally felt the urge/need to start it. I had decided on the name and a little push from my daughter and her help in designing the page, and voila - here I am on the world wide web! Let me tell you why this week. I have decided to quit my job. I have to admit that it is more painful than I thought it would be. I know that this is the right thing to do as I have thought about this for a long time. I have worked at this job for the last 6 years and I have enjoyed it. I love the people and the work. So I keep asking myself why? I have a deep relationship with Jesus and as I look back and see His working in my life and my family and I see that He has always had a plan for us that was always good. And He has revealed that plan to us at the right time. Very often it has seemed irrational and counterculture but when He speaks and we hear, and we are obedient, then we see His blessings pour down....