Total Surrender - Releasing my grip...

"I surrender all.." I have sung this song many times but never quite meant it. These days I am learning what surrender means.

You really don't know how tight your grip is till you are asked to let go! I thought I lived a surrendered life, not till I felt the call to leave my country, which meant leaving my parents, my dearest friends, my apartment, my lifestyle, my heart it seemed then (1996).

Letting go of my children as they left the nest for university. That was a hard one for me!

Later it was letting go of my ancestral home - so many childhood treasures piled into one big bonfire. Left only with a sense of loss and yet so many memories. Memories do not seem to dull pain do they?

I question: why it is so hard to surrender? Perhaps it is a struggle with obedience, a very distrust of God and the fact that He has my future in control. And yet He tells me: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

I am holding on real tight - this time to Him.

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