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A tribute to my Dad

Vicente Xavier Lobo, Papa to Julius and me, Thusa to the girls, Vixalo to his friends, Doutor Xavier to his patients, Uncle Xavier to all his nieces and nephews  and Dr Lobo to most others –on October 29th, went to sleep hooked up to his dialysis machine as usual and never woke up.
Later that day, we went to clear out his belongings in the nursing home. Three years ago on Father’s day I had written a very personal letter to him. It was still in his drawer. As a tribute to him, I shared it with my dear family and friends at the Memorial service.

My darling Papa,
On this Father’s day, I want to tell you how much you mean to me and all the life lessons I learned from you. I don’t think I have ever taken the time to tell you how much I appreciate you. You have been a very good father to me – very patient and loving even when I did not deserve it. I remember sitting on your lap as a little girl and feeling so safe especially at nights when we did not have electricity and I was so afraid of the dark. I was always so afraid of the snakes in Jua , the ghost stories and robberies in every house that we lived in, and it seemed that you always managed to protect me.
I also learned valuable lessons from you that have shaped the person that I grew up to be.
I admired your tenacity and perseverance in the face of so many odds – how you got a double degree in pharmacy and medicine at a much later age in spite of so many challenges.
I admire the decision you took to change your career and stay in Jua for Avo’s sake and your care of her till her death.
I admired your honesty and integrity in all your dealings with people. I especially admired your relationship with your family and your forgiveness of the deep hurts that happened at a significant time in your life. Ironically Julius and I were faced with similar experiences and I was able to forgive readily because I had seen you do it.
I also gratefully admire how you cared for Mama in all her 20 years of being sick with rheumatoid arthritis. It was truly fulfilling your marriage vows for better or worse, in sickness and health. This is what God requires of good marriages and you modeled it for me.
We – Julius Alekhya and Deepika also enjoyed wonderful holidays in Jua. We loved coming home and being treated like royalty with “leitao” and samosas and laddoos form Cafe Central. You spared no effort in making our stay as comfortable as possible – all expenses paid!
I know that coming to Canada was not something you would have done, if mama was still alive and you were almost forced to do it and I also know that it has been very lonely and difficult very often and I am so sorry for the times that I have been impatient and seemed uncaring. I want to say that I truly love you.
Your loving - Joslyn

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