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I am thankful

3 weeks today. Waking up is always so hard. Yet I must.
The ache seems so deeper - does it ever go away?
I search God's Word for comfort, and I back again in Psalm 77. How appropriate - Asaph's language reflects my very mournings.
I cry out to God; yes, I shout. Oh, that God would listen to me!
When I was in deep trouble, I searched for the Lord.
All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven, but my soul was not comforted.
I think of God, and I moan, overwhelmed with longing for his help

You don’t let me sleep. I am too distressed even to pray!
I think of the good old days, long since ended,
when my nights were filled with joyful songs. I search my soul and ponder the difference now.
Has the Lord rejected me forever? Will he never again be kind to me?
Is his unfailing love gone forever? Have his promises permanently failed?
Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he slammed the door on his compassion?

And I said, “This is my fate; the Most High has turned his hand against me.”
11 But then I recall all you have done, O Lord; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.
12 They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works.


Like the psalmist I decided to stop and remember all that God has done for me that I did not deserve. I am thankful for:
  • Jesus - my Saviour and Lord
  • The fact that Julius is in heaven. (As an aside, if you are reading this and you have not accepted Jesus as your Saviour, I plead with you to go the Word and carefully look at the gospel of John. There is only One True God my dearest reader. It is a lie that all roads lead to Heaven. It is also a lie that any of us is good enough to go to heaven. Scripture says that our righteousness is like filthy rags - we need a Saviour and God sent His only Son to die for us, to pay for our sins - He is the only Way. He is the Way. It is a lie that the rituals of traditional religion will take us to heaven. God wants our hearts, not our rituals. Jesus says: “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends..." Rev 3:20.  Open your heart to Him my friend. He is knocking even now).
  • God's Word that sustains me every minute of every day
  • Every breath that I take
  • My girls - wonderful treasures, lives transformed by Him
  • My Church family
  • Meals on the table lovingly prepared even to this day by loving friends and family
  • Loving friends that have stood with us
  • Constant emails and text messages with scriptures
  • Friends that have come in and done our yard work for us
  • Daniel
  • So many beautiful memories with Julius - my joy of having known this wonderful man for 32 years
  • My car and the ability to drive
  • Financial provision for this time
  • My job
  • My workplace that allowed me to change locations so I can be closer to my girls/home
  • The elders and pastors of my church who are ever willing to come to our aid and walk alongside us.
  • My health
  • My home - a place that is filled with memories of joy and laughter.
  • Summer
  • My drive to work through beautiful corn fields.
Thank you Lord that you provide and You are as faithful as Your Word promises.






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