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Kept by the power of God

I find myself descending into an abyss of despair and loneliness. I ache for Julius and find it hard to comprehend that he will never come home. His house slippers are still in the same spot, but they will never be worn again. I will never hear his voice responding to my constant chatter, he never tired of hearing all the details of my day. I will never again have such a wonderful prayer partner who woke up even at 2 am if I needed prayer.
Always caring, always watching out for us girls. Car oil changes, fill my tank, wash my car, bake bread, play romantic love songs on the piano, play board games with the girls, hang out on the couch, watch Sherlock Holmes with me, pack my lunch, make breakfast on weekends and on and on...
Will this ache ever go away? I have constant flash backs of holidays and trips and we did many of these. Drives down country roads, walks in the ravine, favourite getaway at Niagara Falls...
I have to admit I struggle to see the love of God in this "dreadful darkness" that seems to surround me. I ask "why, Lord? Why could you not have given Julius and me a few years more together?
But God, My God gracious and loving, will not let me sink any deeper. It is His love that never makes me feel that I cannot ask or be honest about my thoughts and feelings.

I am in Andrew Murray's book "Absolute Surrender" I come across this chapter on Kept by the Power of God the very day I was at my lowest. I had read this verse many times before but never looked at this way before. .
Quoting 1 Peter 1:5 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance incorruptible...reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are kept by the power of God through faith...
He beautifully explains that we are kept by the power of God and kept through faith for salvation.  "There is an inheritance kept for me in heaven and I on earth kept for the inheritance there."
How does God plan to keep me for this inheritance? God's keeping includes all of my life, not just parts of it.
"God comes to us as the almighty One, and without any condition He offers to be my keeper, and His keeping means that day by day, moment by moment, God is going to keep us."

Hush, loved one, it seems like My God is calling to my very soul and gently moving my perspective to an eternal one. There is an inheritance for the believer and just as God has no problem keeping it incorruptible, He is doing His work of keeping me for it. How can I protest? This is part of His plan of keeping me. Would I not entrust my all to Him who has saved me, and whose promises are true?
How gracious that He even cares to touch down and respond to my rant. It is a testimony to His Love - the very love that I was finding it hard to see as I stubbornly looked at my trial and not at Him. He lifts my countenance so I can  see that "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Ps 34:18

Comments

  1. MomLaur6 June 2013 at 12:13

    Sweet Joslyn...we continue to pray for you! May you draw ever nearer to the heart of Christ as you walk through these times.

    ReplyDelete

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