I have not been able to visit my garden for a long time it seems. A season of dryness, of exhaustion, burdened with the mundane chores of life.
I have also been dreading getting into the month of April. So many big days - my birthday. My daughter's birthday. Somehow the month of April of last year is very clear in mind. Very tender memories of Julius and us four together. He was so excited about bringing our daughter home from University. Our nest was full again and so was my heart. It did not take long for all of this to change. On the 7th of May my heart tore apart.
Like Job I have asked the Lord: "what is my strength that I should wait? And what is my end that I should be patient?" Job 6:11
God did not give Job an answer, and He does not answer me either but He does not give up on me.
In ways that only I can understand He graciously began once again drawing me back to write, only this time He took me to another garden. I have been camping here for a few weeks now and this morning was so blessed to hear my Pastor preach a powerful sermon on it.
This garden was not pretty. It was painful and the memories are harsh even for God. It's name means an "olive press."
Gethsemane.
It was the night before the crucifixion. Jesus knew "all that would happen to Him." John 18:4.
What was the depth of His anguish? We read that "his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground." Luke 22:44.
What was his sense of betrayal and loss when his best friends could not stay up one hour to pray with him even though he pleaded with them.
As I spend time in this garden, I am overwhelmed by His love. That He would chose to do this, to go through the agony, never faltering, completely obedient and trusting His Father.
I want to trust My Heavenly Father more and like Job I want to say "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21
I have also been dreading getting into the month of April. So many big days - my birthday. My daughter's birthday. Somehow the month of April of last year is very clear in mind. Very tender memories of Julius and us four together. He was so excited about bringing our daughter home from University. Our nest was full again and so was my heart. It did not take long for all of this to change. On the 7th of May my heart tore apart.
Like Job I have asked the Lord: "what is my strength that I should wait? And what is my end that I should be patient?" Job 6:11
God did not give Job an answer, and He does not answer me either but He does not give up on me.
In ways that only I can understand He graciously began once again drawing me back to write, only this time He took me to another garden. I have been camping here for a few weeks now and this morning was so blessed to hear my Pastor preach a powerful sermon on it.
This garden was not pretty. It was painful and the memories are harsh even for God. It's name means an "olive press."
Gethsemane.
It was the night before the crucifixion. Jesus knew "all that would happen to Him." John 18:4.
What was the depth of His anguish? We read that "his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground." Luke 22:44.
What was his sense of betrayal and loss when his best friends could not stay up one hour to pray with him even though he pleaded with them.
As I spend time in this garden, I am overwhelmed by His love. That He would chose to do this, to go through the agony, never faltering, completely obedient and trusting His Father.
I want to trust My Heavenly Father more and like Job I want to say "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21
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