May 7th is fast approaching and I am going through a range of emotions. Remembering "the phone call"...everything went downhill after that. Police car at the door, clinging to my girls, to my Pastor, my church family and friends, praying, flat out on the floor of a room in the Hospital ER - God was silent. The answer was "no" The door was shut, slammed in my face.
I had never encountered this side of God before. I remember my "charmed" life before this when I could praise Him for His goodness and blessings to me. Of course I have encountered "no" before - but it had always seemed bearable. There was always a way out.
This was different - irreversible, unchangeable, Julius was gone. Never coming back, No time to say "goodbye."
I often say "God is good". I know He is Good - His Word tells me and I have seen and tasted His goodness. The Psalmist says : Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Ps 34:8
This began a testing time for me and my view of God. Did I really believe all that I professed about Him? How real was my faith?
To be honest, I had nowhere to go but back to Him for all of these questions and answers. My faith had to become real - in a sense it became sight.
I have began to "see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Ps 27.
My idea of "God is good" took on a different direction and meaning.
In order to face May 7, 2014, I am retracing my journey, and what I see most clearly is His constant Hand of "sufficient grace."
I pray dear reader that as you read of my journey with Him, it will encourage you, as you face a trial or challenging situation in your own life and that you also will taste and see His goodness.
In the week that followed the accident, my Pastor gave me a book that made a landmark shift in my vision of death and helped me grieve in a way that would glorify God.
One of the key principles that I learned was that "God holds His children responsible for the control of their thoughts at all times. Albert N. Martin, " Grieving, Hope and Solace when a loved one dies in Christ." Cruciform Press.
The author goes on to quote two texts to substantiate this principle.
Philippians 4:8: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Colossians 3:1-2 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
Loved one, you and I are responsible for our thoughts even in the darkest storm. If I thought about the horror of that day, I would despair and descend into an abyss. In order to keep living I had to set my mind on the things above where Christ is, seated at the right of God.
It was a moment by moment choice that I had to make. But even in this choice He had gone ahead and provided for me.
Our gracious God had after all left me a life verse in the one that Julius underlined just a few hours before he went home to be with His Creator:
This is what the Lord says: Jeremiah 6:16(NLT)
“Stop at the crossroads and look around.
Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it.
Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls.
Dear Reader what is your mind focused on these days? Take time to do a thought log. Set your heart on the things above and your view of your situation whatever it is, will change. God expects this of you. He will lift you up just like He lifted me. to quote Psalm 40:2-3
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord
I had never encountered this side of God before. I remember my "charmed" life before this when I could praise Him for His goodness and blessings to me. Of course I have encountered "no" before - but it had always seemed bearable. There was always a way out.
This was different - irreversible, unchangeable, Julius was gone. Never coming back, No time to say "goodbye."
I often say "God is good". I know He is Good - His Word tells me and I have seen and tasted His goodness. The Psalmist says : Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Ps 34:8
This began a testing time for me and my view of God. Did I really believe all that I professed about Him? How real was my faith?
To be honest, I had nowhere to go but back to Him for all of these questions and answers. My faith had to become real - in a sense it became sight.
I have began to "see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Ps 27.
My idea of "God is good" took on a different direction and meaning.
In order to face May 7, 2014, I am retracing my journey, and what I see most clearly is His constant Hand of "sufficient grace."
I pray dear reader that as you read of my journey with Him, it will encourage you, as you face a trial or challenging situation in your own life and that you also will taste and see His goodness.
In the week that followed the accident, my Pastor gave me a book that made a landmark shift in my vision of death and helped me grieve in a way that would glorify God.
One of the key principles that I learned was that "God holds His children responsible for the control of their thoughts at all times. Albert N. Martin, " Grieving, Hope and Solace when a loved one dies in Christ." Cruciform Press.
The author goes on to quote two texts to substantiate this principle.
Philippians 4:8: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Colossians 3:1-2 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
Loved one, you and I are responsible for our thoughts even in the darkest storm. If I thought about the horror of that day, I would despair and descend into an abyss. In order to keep living I had to set my mind on the things above where Christ is, seated at the right of God.
It was a moment by moment choice that I had to make. But even in this choice He had gone ahead and provided for me.
Our gracious God had after all left me a life verse in the one that Julius underlined just a few hours before he went home to be with His Creator:
This is what the Lord says: Jeremiah 6:16(NLT)
“Stop at the crossroads and look around.
Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it.
Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls.
Dear Reader what is your mind focused on these days? Take time to do a thought log. Set your heart on the things above and your view of your situation whatever it is, will change. God expects this of you. He will lift you up just like He lifted me. to quote Psalm 40:2-3
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord
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