This past week the girls and I found ourselves in a ritzy downtown lawyer's office. As we walked in I swung between feeling completely at peace to having knots in my stomach. My phone kept alerting me to text and email messages that faithful praying friends were sending - God's people upholding us and praying for us.
We were ushered into a plush boardroom and one of the city's leading lawyers and his law student graciously explained about insurance laws and the intricacies of Section 23A, underinsured motorist coverage, torte law, and on and on...I found my mind swinging from having complete clarity to getting flashbacks...
Was this us? Really? We came from India way back it seems in 1998 - a quiet immigrant family living on a quiet street...Our first home, the girls elementary school, the daily walk to school by the creek. Learning the laws/culture of this new land, and adapting to it. Fitting in as best as we could. Julius working hard at his job. Me keeping a part-time job so I could be home for the girls when they came home from school. We tried to keep the "best" of both worlds. We did EVERYTHING together.
It seemed so long ago and so far away. Where and how did this switch happen? How does a driver with no accident record in the last 20 years get into one this big?
I glanced surreptitiously at my girls - grown women now. Beautiful in the work that the Lord has done in their lives.
These were Julius' and my little girls. Babsygirl and Dipsydoodle to me. In our parenting years did Julius and I prepare them for this day? Can we ever prepare for a day like this? I look at them again and I see mature young women sitting on each side of me - asking intelligent questions and re-affirming to the lawyer that they will be willing if we have to, to sit in the mediation process.
Someone asked how long the process could take and my mind swung back sharply when I heard the answer - at least 4 years. In my mind I was pleading with God, asking Him to end this trial. Why did it have to be so big and so painful and so long drawn out?
My questions don't last too long - I know enough of My Heavenly Father to stop doubting His Sovereignty. If there is one thing I have learned over this year is that God is well...He is God. Yes I can question and He never tires or is angry with me. But he is God and He decides.
The meeting is coming to an end and my mind is wandering again. I have always wanted to live my life in such a way that it glorifies God. Often not done a good job of this, but this is my desire.
I know that this is the purpose of my life - to glorify Him that made me.
Flashback to that day in the hospital waiting room - I was pleading with God and telling Him what a God glorifying story it would be if Julius walked from his hospital bed. Surely my God could do this! Jesus did miracles when He walked on this earth.
But God is God and He decides.
God is God and God is also good - very good. His plans are for our good and He knows best. I have to trust Him yet again.
The meeting is over -we get into the elevator. Time for a group hug.
Our resolve to trust and press on is even greater. Like the apostle Paul we learn to say:
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Cor 4:16-18
We were ushered into a plush boardroom and one of the city's leading lawyers and his law student graciously explained about insurance laws and the intricacies of Section 23A, underinsured motorist coverage, torte law, and on and on...I found my mind swinging from having complete clarity to getting flashbacks...
Was this us? Really? We came from India way back it seems in 1998 - a quiet immigrant family living on a quiet street...Our first home, the girls elementary school, the daily walk to school by the creek. Learning the laws/culture of this new land, and adapting to it. Fitting in as best as we could. Julius working hard at his job. Me keeping a part-time job so I could be home for the girls when they came home from school. We tried to keep the "best" of both worlds. We did EVERYTHING together.
It seemed so long ago and so far away. Where and how did this switch happen? How does a driver with no accident record in the last 20 years get into one this big?
I glanced surreptitiously at my girls - grown women now. Beautiful in the work that the Lord has done in their lives.
These were Julius' and my little girls. Babsygirl and Dipsydoodle to me. In our parenting years did Julius and I prepare them for this day? Can we ever prepare for a day like this? I look at them again and I see mature young women sitting on each side of me - asking intelligent questions and re-affirming to the lawyer that they will be willing if we have to, to sit in the mediation process.
Someone asked how long the process could take and my mind swung back sharply when I heard the answer - at least 4 years. In my mind I was pleading with God, asking Him to end this trial. Why did it have to be so big and so painful and so long drawn out?
My questions don't last too long - I know enough of My Heavenly Father to stop doubting His Sovereignty. If there is one thing I have learned over this year is that God is well...He is God. Yes I can question and He never tires or is angry with me. But he is God and He decides.
The meeting is coming to an end and my mind is wandering again. I have always wanted to live my life in such a way that it glorifies God. Often not done a good job of this, but this is my desire.
I know that this is the purpose of my life - to glorify Him that made me.
Flashback to that day in the hospital waiting room - I was pleading with God and telling Him what a God glorifying story it would be if Julius walked from his hospital bed. Surely my God could do this! Jesus did miracles when He walked on this earth.
But God is God and He decides.
God is God and God is also good - very good. His plans are for our good and He knows best. I have to trust Him yet again.
The meeting is over -we get into the elevator. Time for a group hug.
Our resolve to trust and press on is even greater. Like the apostle Paul we learn to say:
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Cor 4:16-18
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